Multi-Tasking
Some people can't pat their head and rub their stomachs at the same time. Eddie Griffin has a different kind of problem. On March 30, Minnesota Timberwolves center Eddie Griffin was reportedly drunk, watching porn on his in-dash DVD player, and masturbating when he crashed his Escalade into a parked Suburban, according to a lawsuit filed Thursday by the man whose Suburban was hit in the crash. You can read the full story and watch the news coverage here.
posted by Me @ 10:58 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
An open letter to Mr. Bush from Bob the stem cell.
Dear Mr. President,
The guys have asked me to speak for them, though, as you know, we have no mouth. Still I didn't have the guts of turn them down, which is in itself is quite the trick, as I also have no guts.
I know you're in a bit of a quandary and I would whisper into your ear and tell you what you should do, but I have neither the ability to speak nor eyes with which to find your ear.
I would have written out a solution for you, but I have no hands to type nor fingers to hold a pen.
Still, I would want to think of what might change your mind, however I have neither ideas nor brain to form a thought.
I would have come up with the passion that would touch you, but alas, I have no heart nor emotion to reach you .
Yet I beseech you to reexamine what you're about to do or keep others from doing, for even without any seeming human nature, I have the ability to benefit humanity. Not benefits with great guarantees but ones with greater possibilities.
Simply, God presents us with miracles all the time, though without purpose or action taken they're just lost opportunities; not causal misses, but miscarriages of possibility. A divine gift left unopened.
President Bush, I plead with you to not to ignore a miracle in waiting. Please do not throw me away, for if you do you throw away God's gift. It may not be a sin, but it would be a shame.
For that, and speaking for the rest of the guys, I hope you'll reconsider what you're about to do. We're ready to take the risk. Are you?
Sincerely,
Bob, The Stem Cell
P.S. Please get back to me as soon as possible for I don't know how soon I'll be tossed out as yesterday's trash and other missed miracles.
P.P.S. I realize a lot of people will want to know how, if I can't think, write or type, did this column get written? Well, that, my friends, is what we call a miracle.
Funny stuff. Unfortunately, the president is too busy giving unwanted massages to German woman while munching down on dinner rolls and cussing about world politics to notice. Also, he has a habit of not reading memos or reports that are given to him (see August '01 security report).
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